Thursday, March 20, 2014

Pregnant after Miscarriage!!

As you can see from the picture above, we are pregnant again!  Today is officially a day farther along than we were last time (13w6d).  Since everything seems to be going much better this time, we decided that it is time to announce our news.

This week has been especially stressful for two reasons: 1) this is the week in which we miscarried last time, so every twinge has had me freaking out, and 2) this Friday (March 21) was our original due date.  It has been super tough to deal with all these emotions this week.  I think that is probably part of the reason that I haven’t been sleeping well.  There seems to be a lot of coincidences this time.  Not only did these two dates coincide, but we had miscarried on Sept 18, 2013, and this baby is due on Sept 19, 2014.  Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions then too!

This time around though, I have been experiencing many more pregnancy symptoms than last time.  From extreme fatigue, to nausea when I was hungry, to severe back pain, it makes me feel a lot safer.  We also had a strong heartbeat at 175 bpm at 8 weeks.  We also elected to do the nuchal screening at 12 weeks (which was recommended by our doctor due to our past experience) and baby still had a strong heartbeat at 161 bpm.  The results came back with no detection of any chromosomal abnormalities, and we also got to see our sweet baby still growing on target!  Phew.  I have a few great ultrasound pictures from this that I will upload later today to this post.

Though we still have worry in the back of our mind, we both feel much better about this pregnancy – almost a sense of calm – at least as calm as you can be after experiencing a miscarriage.  Last time I had had a dream around 8 weeks that we had miscarried.  It actually would be classified as a nightmare…and then it came true.  This time though, I’ve had no such dreams.  And Brandon says he doesn’t have a sick feeling in his gut that something would go wrong like he did last time.  We are also praying very hard and we know many of our friends and family are also praying for us, and we can’t thank you enough.

Overall this pregnancy seems to be flying by compared to the last.  I think we’re grateful to be pregnant again and we’ve had so much going on with cleaning up the house and putting it on the market, that time just seems to be flying by.  It seems like just yesterday I was heading to my sister-in-laws baby shower, knowing I was going to be taking a pregnancy test that night.  I can’t believe it’s been over 2 months since then!

Now we wait for the gender ultrasound.  We will see our doctor again at 16 weeks (instead of 18 weeks) to be sure everything is going well.  We’ll get to hear the heartbeat again.  And then we’ll be scheduling our gender ultrasound!  We cannot wait.  We want to be able to call Baby “him” or “her”.  We feel so silly using “Baby” like a pronoun! But saying “it” just sounds awful!

Until then, we have a lot planned to keep us busy instead of focusing on the wait.  We get to see some friends this weekend, we just accepted an offer on our house, so we will be focusing on getting that through and packing up over the next 30 days, we have a weekend trip to San Diego planned, and then we have a wedding and the Tough Mudder the same day!  Then we’ll get to hear the heartbeat on the Doppler.  And then we’ll finally have the day we’re waiting for!  What a busy month!

Thank you to everyone who has prayed for us.  We will need strength tomorrow, because as excited as we are for this new baby, we still miss our baby boy very dearly.  We will be lighting a candle for him so he knows we still think about him.  But our future babies have something special that not all children have: a sibling in Heaven watching out for them.  And that is something special that I am clinging to. And I try to remind myself every day to not take any day or any of the people in my life for granted, because tomorrow is never promised.


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