As you can see from the picture above, we are pregnant
again! Today is officially a day farther
along than we were last time (13w6d).
Since everything seems to be going much better this time, we decided
that it is time to announce our news.
This week has been especially stressful for two reasons: 1)
this is the week in which we miscarried last time, so every twinge has had me
freaking out, and 2) this Friday (March 21) was our original due date. It has been super tough to deal with all these
emotions this week. I think that is
probably part of the reason that I haven’t been sleeping well. There seems to be a lot of coincidences this
time. Not only did these two dates
coincide, but we had miscarried on Sept 18, 2013, and this baby is due on Sept
19, 2014. Talk about a rollercoaster of
emotions then too!
This time around though, I have been experiencing many more
pregnancy symptoms than last time. From
extreme fatigue, to nausea when I was hungry, to severe back pain, it makes me
feel a lot safer. We also had a strong
heartbeat at 175 bpm at 8 weeks. We also
elected to do the nuchal screening at 12 weeks (which was recommended by our
doctor due to our past experience) and baby still had a strong heartbeat at 161
bpm. The results came back with no
detection of any chromosomal abnormalities, and we also got to see our sweet
baby still growing on target! Phew. I have a few great ultrasound pictures from
this that I will upload later today to this post.
Though we still have worry in the back of our mind, we both
feel much better about this pregnancy – almost a sense of calm – at least as
calm as you can be after experiencing a miscarriage. Last time I had had a dream around 8 weeks
that we had miscarried. It actually
would be classified as a nightmare…and then it came true. This time though, I’ve had no such
dreams. And Brandon says he doesn’t have
a sick feeling in his gut that something would go wrong like he did last
time. We are also praying very hard and
we know many of our friends and family are also praying for us, and we can’t
thank you enough.
Overall this pregnancy seems to be flying by compared to the
last. I think we’re grateful to be
pregnant again and we’ve had so much going on with cleaning up the house and
putting it on the market, that time just seems to be flying by. It seems like just yesterday I was heading to
my sister-in-laws baby shower, knowing I was going to be taking a pregnancy
test that night. I can’t believe it’s
been over 2 months since then!
Now we wait for the gender ultrasound. We will see our doctor again at 16 weeks
(instead of 18 weeks) to be sure everything is going well. We’ll get to hear the heartbeat again. And then we’ll be scheduling our gender
ultrasound! We cannot wait. We want to be able to call Baby “him” or “her”. We feel so silly using “Baby” like a pronoun!
But saying “it” just sounds awful!
Until then, we have a lot planned to keep us busy instead of
focusing on the wait. We get to see some
friends this weekend, we just accepted an offer on our house, so we will be
focusing on getting that through and packing up over the next 30 days, we have
a weekend trip to San Diego planned, and then we have a wedding and the Tough
Mudder the same day! Then we’ll get to
hear the heartbeat on the Doppler. And
then we’ll finally have the day we’re waiting for! What a busy month!
Thank you to everyone who has prayed for us. We will need strength tomorrow, because as
excited as we are for this new baby, we still miss our baby boy very
dearly. We will be lighting a candle for
him so he knows we still think about him.
But our future babies have something special that not all children have:
a sibling in Heaven watching out for them.
And that is something special that I am clinging to. And I try to remind
myself every day to not take any day or any of the people in my life for
granted, because tomorrow is never promised.
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