Monday, May 5, 2014

20 weeks pregnant after miscarriage!

We hit a milestone this weekend.  On Friday, we officially hit the halfway point for this pregnancy.  Of course it is a bittersweet moment.  We are very excited that we are halfway to meeting our baby girl.  But all of these milestones also remind me of what we were robbed of in our last pregnancy.

Making it to 20 weeks is a huge milestone.  The halfway point.  I can’t believe it’s been this long already. We’ve had so much going on that the time has just flown by.  I’ve noticed that I’m not even checking my calendar for when our next doctor appointment is.  Those 4 weeks fly by before I even know it.  But she reminds me she’s there when I feel the flutters and movement in my belly.  It’s not super often (though some days are more active than others), but enough that I know she’s okay and still there.

But making it this far reminds me of being robbed of feeling our baby boy kick and move and seeing his face on an ultrasound.  We lost him way too early.

But we are very excited to welcome our baby girl to the world, and we know that she will have a wonderful big brother watching her from Heaven.  And though that is a comfort, it is still hard to think about what we lost with him.  But this baby is bringing us so much joy.  I can’t wait until we decide on a name for her, so we can start calling her by it, instead of Baby Girl Ray.

I’ve finally started to actually put some weight on. It’s been weird to see my body changing, but not seeing it on the scale.  Although, I feel weird wishing I’d see results on the scale, because I know once I do, it won’t stop until we’ve had her!  Ahh! 

I had to run to the doctor on Friday to get something checked out because a new pregnancy symptom hit and I had to make sure nothing was wrong with the baby.  All is fine and I haven’t experienced that symptom since.  But it was nice to get in to see the doctor as peace of mind.  It also let me go over some travel information with him, and he decided to do an OB check also.  So I was able to hear our little girl’s heartbeat which is still beating strong.  Phew.  But after what we’ve experienced, we don’t want to take anything lightly and assume everything is fine – and my doctor was glad that I came in to get checked – even though it was late on a Friday afternoon.  So we felt much better going in to the weekend.  And we kept our next appointment, so we get to hear baby’s heartbeat after our vacation also!

I wrote this post in order to celebrate what we’re experiencing and looking forward to.  But also to remember our Angel Baby in Heaven with whom we lost so much.  We love both of our babies and know our baby boy will continue looking out for his little sister as each day of the pregnancy progresses and throughout her life.


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